When I talk about bed time nightmares, I'm not talking about the girls. I have been having such a hard time putting them to bed ever since we got rid of Isabel's crib. From 8:00 on, it is such a struggle to get the two (Isabel mainly), to go to sleep, and stay in their beds. We still have a toddler bed in Isabel's room, but she chooses not to stay in there. And by not choosing to stay in there, I mean that she will throw an irate temper tantrum, and will not listen to any type of reason. Although, I do know safety procedure, and know better than to put my two year old on the top of a bunk bed, that is where she will stay with the least amount of trouble, not to mention that Abby likes the bottom better. Isabel is constantly getting out of bed, and trying to see how far she can get before we catch her. She has often made it to the basement, claiming that she wants to sleep there. Is it strange that I feel safer with her on the top bunk with the possibility of her falling, rather than in the basement all alone? I got these pictures a few days ago, when they had tired themselves out completely. I think poor Abby was being pushed off the bed. Now, aside from forcing my children (cross that out) forcing Isabel to stay in her room when we put them to bed, after that is my struggle to keep her in her room without waking Abby. After midnight sometime (but every night) Isabel comes in our room wanting to sleep with us. Okay, I am a light sleeper, and cannot stand to have people inching their way underneath me as I lay there. Isabel is no exception. I have ended up putting a couple blankets and pillows on the floor as her bed. I have been so tired of getting up with her, and of course, she will throw a fit if I try to put her back in her room, or Abby's. Thus my meaning of waking Abby up. Enough rambling, anyone have ideas for an easier way for bedtime and keeping children in their beds. Yes, I realise that this blog is quite redundant. Oh well, such is my life right now.
5 comments:
Poor Maggie! I need my sleep... I cannot believe you do not feel like the walking dead at this point. Pregnancy and no sleep means a very cranky mom!
Like you...I NEVER let my kids sleep in my bed. Think self-preservation! They can set up blankets on floor by themselves if they want to be in our room... but that is it. They usually do not like to go to the trouble. I find that the more that I do for them the more they expect me to do. Turns out they are very resourceful, independant kids. I am truly blessed.
From: Amber Meredith
Maggie...I completely understand what you are going through! Anna went through a phase where bedtime was a nightmare too! We went through major tantrums, screaming, kicking, and hitting fights from her! She wouldn't stay in bed, had every excuse to get up...list goes on! I felt like you...no amount of reasoning would help! and a mom can only handle so much before you just break! Here's some ideas that might help...if you want to talk more, just give me a call (220-2691)!
Sit down with your daughter (early evening) and explain exactly what will happen at bedtime.(Maybe you could have a family counsel, do it for FHE, or do some role-play to help) Then talk about appropriate bedtime manners you want her to have and what rules she must obey. Then talk about the consequences she will face if she doesn't obey. Then talk about the rewards she will get if she does obey. It helps to have some instant rewards and some that come the next day. Then make this a routine for every night. (involve both daughters, Isabel might be more prone to obeying if she sees that Abby gets rewarded for following the rules.)
The first few nights will probably be just as bad, or worse, because she will be testing you to see if you do what you say. The key is to be firm and consistant.
You might want to make a rule that she must stay in her bed after bedtime routine. If she gets out, she is promptly put back in and then the door is shut and you ignore the trama that goes on. If it continues, then you warn her of a consequence...for example:If you continue to get out of your bed, then tomorrow you don't get your snack. She will probably continue...which is good, because then she has the opportunity to see that her actions will really cause her to not get a snack the next day and Abby will get hers for obeying. It isn't easy, but I think it is worth it and in the long run children really do learn and things will calm down.
One tactic that worked when Anna would get really worked up and upset and wouldn't calm down is we got a squirt bottle and filled it up with water. We showed her the bottle and told her that when she threw a tantrum at bedtime and would not listen to us and go to sleep, then we would come in and squirt her in the face! (sounds crazy, I know, but it worked!) I would have to squirt her maybe once or twice, then she would calm down and go to sleep. After about a week, I only had to use it every once in awhile, and now never!
Rewards you might try are stickers or sticker chart. Money to go in piggy bank, then if she starts acting up, you take the money back, and explain that she can have one more chance to obey and gain it back. Have a treat bag or box and each morning reward for good behavior at bedtime by allowing them to pick one thing from it. Try rewarding Isabel for little steps she makes first, so she doesn't feel so overwhelmed, and then gradually increase your expectations for her, with lots of positive praise that she can do it. Then maybe after a few days, or after a week, when she is showing some improvement, you could take her out for an ice cream or something.
You will have to experiment a bit to see what does and doesn't work, but I think that once a child knows the expectations and knows that the parents will not budge, they will follow along.
I had lots of conversations with Anna throughout the days and weeks about what will happen at bedtime and how she must act and how happy it makes me when she obeys. I would make up stories to tell her about little animals who would not go to bed but learned to obey....anything I could think of that might help her remember and think about it more.
Sorry this is sooo long, but i truly truly sympathize with you and know that bedtime troubles with kids is so hard!!! You'll be fine...just be patient and stick it out and things will get better, I promise! Give me a call anytime if you want to!
You know - I left this same post on another friend's blog 5 minutes ago!!! :) It's no fun to have children not sleeping well. I don't know about getting her to stay in bed all night, but I had to lay by Kirk while he went to sleep - forcing him to stay down- until he learned that he couldn't get out. Good luck with that!!!
wow- if you figure out what to do, let me know...when I hve kids I am sure that advice will come in handy.
wow, I do not look forward to when Jackson is no longer in a crib and can get out of bed on his own. We just barely got him on a good sleeping schedule.
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